This month has flown by so quickly. So so so quickly. It honestly feels like it was just October. Where is the time going?
I can’t believe I have been away for four months now! Four whole months, a full THIRD of a year. It’s seems a little crazy and, like I have said before, some days it feels like it has been forever and some days it feels like I just left.
This month has definitely been the hardest so far. It has been the month of settling in. Of real life. Of budgets and learning what it’s like to live on my own (and have rent come due oh so fast each month!). Of being homesick and, at moments, wanting to jump on a plane and come home. Ireland isn’t all seaside cliffs and rolling green hills. Before I left home, I imagined my life would literally be the same over here. I would make tons of friends (which, thankfully, I have made some great ones), I would fall into my hobbies like at home, I would constantly have things to do. But not all of those things have happened. And, I realized this past month that I miss the things that make me me. I miss planning mini-events, I miss having twenty coffee dates a week, I miss scrapbooking and making handmade Christmas cards. I miss playing soccer with my friends. I miss Irish Dance. I miss all the elements in my life that have shaped me into the person I am. So, I have decided it is time to make an effort. A real effort. To seek out ways I can make life more fun while I am here. My housemates and I are going to try Zumba (a dance cardio class), I am going to sign up for a photography class for January, and I am going to do touristy things when I have days off. I have a whole city to explore, right at my finger-tip; it’s time I enjoy it 🙂
I have a feeling the next month or, should I say the next 38 days are going to be my most difficult. I am not coming home for Christmas. I am going to stay here. I know I can do it but thought of not being at home, not having my family around, not having the same traditions is a bit scary. I LOVE Christmas. It is my favourite holiday by far. I love the smells, the tree, the dÃ©cor, the baking, the music. I love everything about it. But, this year Christmas is going to be different. I don’t have money to buy Christmas presents and my house certainly won’t be done up like ours is at home. But, there are things that will remain. The music is still there (I have already started listening to it!). I can still bake (yah!). I am going to get an iddy-bitty tree. And, I can start my own traditions. As for Christmas Day itself, I am still not sure what I am going to do though I have plenty of options. I may go to my housemates’ house for Christmas or I may volunteer or I may go on a roadtrip with a friend who is also away from home orwho knows? The options are endless and as time nears, I will figure out what will feel right to me 🙂
Despite this being my most trying month yet, I have learned so much. I learned that I can stand on my own two feet. That I can chose not to have many luxuries (no more daily Starbucks or random shopping sprees). I have learned that it is (sometimes) hard to be a grown-up girl but that there is a certain confidence gained knowing you, yourself can do it and, at the end of the day, that in itself is the best feeling ever!